Life has been great, fun outings with many groups of awesome friends. It manage to help me to take my mind off those negative thoughts about my exam.

Exams ended last Tuesday, went to find JMM at Jcube right after my paper. Min didn't joined us cos' it was too far. ;( Nevertheless, had an awesome time hanging out with the rest even though the dinner we had at that Taiwan shop wasn't that great.

Wednesday was hanging out with ruiling, meiyen and Christina! Had Korean BBQ at 2D1N followed by chilling session at Clark Quay Starbucks. Managed to dig out some stuff about Christina. Hahahaha.

Went for the camp briefing on Saturday with meiyen and ruiling before our karaoke session at TEOHENG! We finally had a good time singing together again ever since our chalet.

That's all for last week.

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It's over. Yes, I'm happy but not as happy as I thought I would be. The exam was, different. I don't know if it's cos' it's been a long time since I've an exam like this, I didn't put in enough effort, the paper was really tough, or age is catching up on me.

I've already started my revision weeks before the actual exam and yet I still feel rather unprepared. This is ridiculous cos' I never felt this way for poly exams.

It's worse when out of the 4 papers I have, I've 2 papers that need memorizing falling on just the next day after the other, and also 2 math papers back to back.

This is different from what I thought it would be. I revised, as much as I can, yet I still can't remember those stuff. It's really disheartening to walk out of the exam hall, knowing you won't be able to score well. Getting a pass seems to be the best and only option available. Then again, 34 marks seem like a barrier that's so high that I can't seem to reach it even if I tip toe.

Perhaps this is why I'm feeling so empty now. I don't know what to do, I don't know what I should expect. It starts to make me wonder, why must we obtain a degree in order to get a good job? Doing well in studies doesn't necessary means you'll do well in your job. It's just a piece of paper that I get at the end of the day, after spending a huge fortune on school fees. That's just a proof or receipt for the amount of money and time I've spent on studying.

I should console myself, maybe my memory is failing on me. Maybe I've used it too much during poly. Or maybe I've not work hard enough. Maybe this is my fate.

Maybe maybe...

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夜已深，有些人的这一天现在才开始，正在某个角落狂欢，有些人的已结束，正躲在自己的被窝里呼呼大睡。

而我呢，还在为我的未来奋斗。
多么希望我也能够放下一切，和朋友狂欢作乐。
脑子里都是一些不切实际的想法。但当梦醒了，知道还是得靠自己的努力才能实现那些我想要的。

不过只要再撑多一下下，再一下下就好。

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It's been awhile since I've blogged. A sudden urge to just blog. Maybe cos' I'm really so stressed out and there's no other way that I can vent it out except writing here, at this hour.

So now it's actually exam period for me. Which kinda explains why I've not been blogging, but also partly cos' I'm lazy. Haha.

Oh-well, haven't been really able to memorized all the stuff that I'm supposed to. I've read through again and again but it just doesn't get stuck into my brain! It wasn't like this when I was in poly. Maybe I'm really getting old. :( Its another 6 more days to the start of my first paper, Sociology!!!

Sigh. I really really want to do well in it but I've no idea why I've been procrastinating this whole while when I'm supposed to be using the time left to study.

I wanted to get at least a 2nd upper class. Cos' honestly, SIM to me is a school where those who can't enter local uni turns to. I'm one of them, no doubt about it. But to make myself to be different from the rest, and not to be labelled as "cannot get into local so go sim", I told myself I must get into 2nd upper. At least I'll have something to be proud of when ppl asked about my uni education. Ok, I'm not implying anything here. This is just my opinion. To me, getting 2nd upper will give me more chance should I want to go back to the NIE path. SIM as all of you should know, isn't really that recognize by the NIE since its not a local uni.

Let's just see if I'm destined for that path. I won't ask more, I won't expect more, but just a 2nd upper is enough. Of course, I've to work hard, I know. Which is why I'm so stress now. Been trying to make myself study as much as I can, but I still can't shake off this feeling that I'll not succeed...

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Had a pretty awesome day last Saturday! First was singing session with Bryan, Jason, Timothy, XuanJing, bee and lq. Reached on time with bee but the rest were late. Zzzz Ok, nothing to be surprised of since it has always been like this. But, I'm still trying to get used to it lah. -.- Took a shutter bus to Sembawang shopping centre which we waited quite long for it.

Anyway, it's no longer about the skill but the fun during the singing session. Haha! Was pretty much entertaining to see the guys sing. Bryan and Jason were looking at each other as though they are lovers. LOL. Timothy keeps playing songs that are high but hard to sing. He's there high-ing by himself when he's singing. Hahaha

After the singing was traveling down to dhoby ghuat's Charly' T for dinner! The food and ambience is pretty ok, we had the whole restaurant as though we booked it. But I guess it's cos' we're too noisy which deter the customers from entering. Heeeee

Asked Bryan to do forfeits in order to get his present from us. Next time shall think of more fun stuff to trick those guys.

Thanks Arthoven for driving us back home! So good to have a friend who drives and stay near you. :p

Happy 21st to Bryan aka Uncle Toh!!!!

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Oh yeah!!! I finally found an app for livejournal. This means that I can blog from Itouch and I'll be able to update regularly again! (:

Anyway, been another few weeks since I've last blogged. Let me recall the events that happened...

Ok! Had dinner buffet with the girls at Mandarin Oriental on 23rd Feb. It was super high class! Never had we been to such a place for dinner. Haha!

Yunyun came to fetch me at my workplace. They were super mysterious about the dinner do I had no idea where we were going till we reach the place. (: I must say it was a really nice experience! Love their chocolate pudding, ice cream and waffles!

Thanks to the girls for the balloon and flowers. I'm really happy to receive them. ^^
Had a really enjoyable night with the girls. Love ya!!!!!

See, I'm really happy that day!! :D

The wonderful waffle with ice cream!!

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My 21st birthday party is finally over. Though there had been some hiccups here and there, but still, it was a great day yesterday. (:

The party was held at D'Kranji Resort, 18th February - 19th February, which was opened by my dad's friend. Had some problems booking it cos' the staff always don't answer the call. -.- So my dad went down personally to book the room from them. Decided to have a bbq instead of a buffet, which my parents and uncles ended up helping us to bbq. Million thanks to them for helping, cos' was supposed to be asked my friends to bbq themselves. HAHA. My parents had been helping me with ordering of the food, running around to help me get things done. My brother had also been helping with the bbq, which he ended up not eating much too. I'm really touched, especially the effort that my relatives and friends had made to attend my party.

Thanks to my relatives for all the help that night! They even fork out money to buy drinks for my friends. Really happy to get to gather with all of them, especially when we get to see our 大舅! Cos' been years since we last saw him. Really touched that he actually came cos' of me. (:

Thanks for JMM for staying overnight together with me, though ff didn't manage to cos' her mum don't allow. LOL. Of course, yongxiang and art who stayed with us cos' jmm complained that there should be guys staying to protect us. ;p

Many thanks to min for accompanying me to buy my party decorations, giving suggestions here and there. Of course, Xinjie who had helped also been running around with me to get stuff done. FF, Dajie, min and xinjie who came earlier to help out with my decorations.

Thanks eeling and xinjie for the dress, and having to go from shops to shops just to find the perfect dress for my party. Eeling for helping with my make-up, allowing me to be pretty at the party. 8 years of friendship and counting. I'm really glad to have you two as my friends.

Thanks to the stupid gang for the bouquet of flowers and the gift. Really happy that they managed to attend my party. It was the first time receiving a bouquet of flowers, thanks stupid gang!!

Thanks JMM for the longchamp bag, for getting me the bag that I've wanted on my wishlist. I really hope we could still be as close as we had always been, let;s not forget to share our happiness and sorrows with each other ok!!

Thanks to the girls for the Kate Spade wallet and handphone pouch. I know it must have cost quite a lot, I love it a lot! (: Thanks jiajia for making her effort to come after her work. THANKS!!!! Love ya girls!

Thanks dba08 classmates for making an effort to attend my party too. Didn't manage to catch up alot with you all but let's have another gathering soon! (:

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